The Third Pillar: Empowering Self Esteeem


 We are continuing our series on the 6 Pillars of Performance:

Holding your ground in leadership.

Becoming wise and wealthy.

Empowering your self-esteem.

Amplifying your energetic antenna.

Choosing power over comfort.

Keeping your composure under pressure.

For more information, a workshop, and courses on these pillars, you can go to my programs page.

When was the last time you thought about self-esteem?


Sitting here, I know if it wasn’t a part of my business structure or something I’ve adamantly applied personally and in my business, I don’t think it would be on my radar at all. 

I want you to take a moment and truly think about self-esteem.

Instead of it being a slew of words or maybe some drawings from elementary school, I want you to think of self-esteem as your own personal measure of “I can.”

Think about a challenge you’re facing in your life. Next, take a pen and draw a line across the page, putting 0 on one end, and 10 on the other. 

What is your measure of “I can” when you’re thinking about your challenge? From 10 being “There’s no doubt, I’m crushing it, nothing can stand in my way” to 0, “Why even try?”

Make your mark. 

Now, underneath the line, I want you to write what makes you believe that. 

This is one of the most challenging pillars in the program because we all have confidence in our areas of genius. 

Most of us have confidence in our professional knowledge, skills, and abilities. 

But think of your self-esteem as a different word - efficacy. Efficacy is your own belief in your ability to succeed. 

So what you measured is really a measure of your own belief in your ability to succeed against that challenge. 

What makes you believe what you believe about yourself? Many of us can trace certain beliefs all the way back to one person, saying one thing, that we internalized and took as truth. 

I don’t like you when you (insert your blank here). 

(Insert your blank here) makes you look funny. 

You don’t handle money well. 

You spend too much or you save too little. 

You have bad taste in (insert your blank here.)

You will always (insert your blank here.)

You will never (insert your blank here.)

Even off-hand comments can stick with you, and often far longer than the person saying it will ever know. 

Now, look back at your page. I want you to, very intentionally, mark out each statement you wrote down under your line. 

Your reactions to these statements may have helped you at the time. They may have protected you, may have changed a harmful behavior, may have even hurt you and ended relationships. 

But regardless, they’ve served their purpose. 

Not allowing them to color your view, I want you to re-consider your mark. 

What got you here, is not going to get you there. 

You have to build stronger before you can build taller.